The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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