12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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