this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
