Well apparently he's into motor boating.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You were trust falling into bushes
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize