Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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