You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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