Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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