Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Shame - the story of my life.
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