I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is wine microwaveable?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
