Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish you could order shots online.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
