somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Sober January is a disaster.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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