No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
