Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
