feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
