Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
