I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
