I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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