No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Randomize
