I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
oh god the rape fog is back!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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