Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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