Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
