What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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