i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Vodka?
Forever.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
