He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I should be sponsored by Trojan
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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