R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish you could order shots online.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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