Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
