What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
its liver damage thursday
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
