So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
