I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
