i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
