Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
