drinking out of a sandbucket again
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
