Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
