Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
