brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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