Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
