i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
