OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
