that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
