Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize