Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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