I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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