...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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