I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
