i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
