You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
