one might say we're banned from that church
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just pee around me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
