apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
