i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
