So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
