btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
