she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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