what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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