Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
