return my video game
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
