Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
