She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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