Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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