At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
