I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
