none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
